Bart Star

Bart Starr has a candid conversation with Gill Byrd about the challenges in his life and the importance of god.

I think one of the greatest things that can be a part of a marriage is that you're friends

Gill: Where did you grow up and did you have Christ in your life at a young age?

Bart: My father was in the service (he was a career military person) and we moved around a great deal. I had various exposure to different atmospheres but I guess one of the common denominators was that we were always in a good strong church. Wherever he was based, wherever we lived that was something that was consistent in our lives and so I think it made a huge difference. My mother and father were strong in their faith and living in an atmosphere like that had a marvelous positive impact on me.

Gill: Did you come from a big family?

Bart: No. I only had one brother and ironically when I was 12 and he was 10 he died. Gill, I say ironically because I know you're aware that we lost our second son. Isn't this interesting that two families lose their youngest son. So, I'm from a relatively small family.

Gill: If you don't mind, could you talk about how you dealt with the death of your second son and how Christ helped you during that time?

Bart: I don't know when I've ever been more shaken then when I found him (he was living in Tampa at the time). Ironically it was 10 years ago this past July 4th. July 4th has a different meaning and impact on our lives and it has for the last 10 years. I found him and I was so happy and glad that my wife was not with me because it's the most wrenching difficult situation I've ever found myself in. When I could see through the back window and saw his body in the house I just sort of slid down the wall to my knees and started crying. I don't know how long I was there, but I guess I collected myself enough to get in the car and go to the nearest phone and call the Sheriffs Department and took it from there. It was a very emotional time and one obviously that will be with me forever. Yes, my faith helped me that day, it helped me at that moment, it has helped me since then, as well as, it has my wife. We both have been very strong in our faith since we were married and it was a very critical time for us naturally and our faith helped get us through it.

Gill: Talk to me a little about your wife Cherry and how you two met.

Bart: We met through high school. We were high school sweethearts and we just celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary. I praise God everyday for her because she is the greatest asset I've ever had and the most wonderful thing in my life. She has been a gift from God.

Gill: During the time you were in the "Hay Day" of your career. I'm sure everybody always hears about these athletes and the stories and the adulteress affairs and women throwing themselves at players, how were you able to stay on the straight and narrow path during that time?

Bart: I guess because the principles under which you live. There are times when you are challenged, but just like everything else you accept the challenge and work your way through it. It was never a really big concern or problem for me. Plus I had a wonderful family at home as I said to you, "she is my greatest asset". We had two wonderful sons and it was a joy and a focus of being committed to my family. I really believe and I know you're aware of this, that if you're life is truly prioritized, if you put God first, you put your family second and anything else however you want to list those as being third, you have very few problems. When you let your priorities get out of order, I think you are really in trouble.

Gill: During my visit to the Dentist she had asked me how long I've been married. I said, "we just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary." The Hygienist said, "oh, you've beat the odds." Now you just said that you've been married 44 years, could you give us some insight on what it takes in a relationship and the commitment it takes to be married that long?

Bart: I think one of the greatest things that can be a part of a marriage is that you're friends. My best friend is my wife. I think when you're friends as well as lovers that goes a long way. Additionally, I think it's how you treat someone. If you truly as a family (husband & wife) live by the golden rule it's amazing how you can structure your lives so even though there are problems from time to time, and there will be, if you treat your spouse with dignity, respect, courtesy, kindness and compassion you work your way through the difficult periods. For example, if there is a loss of a son or a death of a mother or father (we've both lost our mothers & fathers) those are all difficult times. Her mother had a painful death, she suffered for a couple of months and it was difficult. When you are very strong in your faith, you can handle a lot of difficulties in life. When you are not (strong in your faith), I think it's when you have your problems.

Gill: Would you say the toughest time in your marriage was dealing with the loss of your son?

Bart: Yes, by far.

Gill: What has been the best time that you could think of, what just puts a smile on your face when you think over 44 years of being married to your wife?

Bart: The birthdays of our sons, birthdays of our daughter-in-law, the birthdays of our 3 granddaughters, anniversary days, special times like Christmas, just the time you get a chance to share (it can be something at McDonald's) but just the private, quiet, personal, loving time that you share together or it could be a wonderful vacation where you're going to California, Florida, Alaska, Hawaii or anywhere. I think it depends on what your objectives are at the time and what your paying close attention to. I think any of those types of occasions are very very meaningful at the time simply because you treasure them. The birthday of a granddaughter, I can not have imagined what a thrill it is. Our oldest is 15 and we were at her 15th birthday party recently and I couldn't believe it. Just a short time ago it seemed like I was holding her in my arms when she was one. Those are precious moments.

Gill: What college did you go to Bart?

Bart: University of Alabama.

Gill: And you went to what high school?

Bart: I went to a high school named Sydney Lenier in Montgomery, Alabama.

Gill: Tell me how hard it is being in a military family to move around so much. Is it tough as a child or is it easy because you are a child?

Bart: I think it's easier when you're a child, but I believe the key to it is your attitude. My dad impressed upon me at an early age the meaning of that word. I didn't appreciate it obviously to the degree I did later. I can remember him speaking numerous times about it, that your attitude is going to be the key to your adjustment and I actually loved it(moving) Gill. It was a great experience for me and one of things I was extremely grateful for later because in hindsight I reflected on the opportunities I had on those Army Forts and later after the second World War at the Air Force Bases, I was exposed to integration at an early age. I never knew about or experienced segregation as most youngsters growing up in the South did. I was grateful for that. My final four years of schooling were all in Montgomery. My dad took some assignments and left me in the same school system. I was grateful for that. It was a wonderful experience because I grew up playing with young blacks. It was a great experience for me.

Gill: What is the best quality that Cherry posses?

Bart: I want to give you two. I want to give you one that obviously is the key, she embraces the word love. By that, she is compassionate, understanding, a friend to all. She is truly a loving and caring person. You should see the way that she cares for her critters at night. The wild critters who come to our backyard to eat. She's just as concerned about feeding them as she is about feeding me.

Gill: Wow, that is a big heart.

Bart: The other one that I think is vital as well and although she is all of that, she has one of the greatest senses of humor I've ever been exposed to. She knows how to laugh.

Gill: I'm going to throw some words to you and I would like you to give me a tell me how it applies to football in being a better player and how it would apply to your Christian life in making you a better Christian man of God. DISCIPLINE

Bart: I think it's a word that is not used enough in our society. It's not emphasized enough. I think if you are going to succeed you must be disciplined. If you even flip it over to the religious or faithful side, I think that discipline is a must because if you are going to be strong in your faith you have to discipline yourself to work your way through the very difficult times and have the strength to know that if you are (disciplined) then you can survive those times.

Gill: ACCOUNTABILITY

Bart: I think it's vital. Stephen Covey wrote in his book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", habit one was be responsible and that's the same thing. Be accountable. We need to hold ourselves accountable and not blame orthers for our problems.We have become too much of a society that wants to blame someone else , we don't want to be held accountable for our actions. God holds us accountable and we need to know that. I think that accountability is critical.

Gill: FOCUS

Bart: It's primary. If we want to excel we have to be very narrowly focused. I think that focus must be the same in our lives of faith. We need to be focused on the principles by which God wants us to live our lives.

Gill: PERSEVERANCE

Bart: I think those who have been in athletic combat or in the military and places like that can fully appreciate that word. It's vital. Look what Christ had to go through and how He persevered to teach, and to work, and to live the life that was in front of Him. It was a constant challenge for Him and yet He persevered all the way to the end and now beyond. I think we must be willing to make that sacrifice. But, again our attitude can play a major role in being able to persevere.

Gill: TRUST

Bart: It's vital. The key here is I think it's something you earn. My dad taught me that I must earn someone else's trust and he also said that you make them earn yours. These are qualities that must be earned.

Gill: OBEDIENCE

Bart: Let's start with God because when we are obedient to the teaching of God and of Christ, I think it's rather simple how we can succeed in our lives and live the kind of lives which they want us to. It's when we are not obedient that we have our problems, but if we are focused on that word I think that most everything will fall into place.